Starting the Training

Why am I writing this blog?  A part of it is to be able to get things out of my head, but a big part of it is to perhaps touch someone(s) with the idea that you're never too old to try something new, that retirement does not really mean "to retire", "to just lie back", "to go away".  Perhaps we need to change that word to "transition".  That's really where I have been - in transition.  I have probably done as much and experienced as much in the last 3 years as I did in my entire lifetime.  Now I know that's a pretty broad statement to make, but if I were to just sit down and make up two lists I'd bet the last 3 years would give the first 68 years a run for their money.  So in my transition I took the right turn into exploring acting.  And as I mentioned in my last posting I discovered Barbizon.   Note that it probably could have been any school, but I knew the name Barbizon.  It was convenient, and it was within my budget.  It also had a class for adult women.  So having just returned from a huge confidence building trip by myself to Scotland for over a week I entered my first class with a bit of anxiety and a lot of expectation.  Everyone in the class was, of course, a good bit younger than me, but that was never a problem in all of the next several weeks of classes.  Our instructor, Ms. Cameron, had taught the class before and was fun and funny.  She was also firm, but always gave critiques in a way that made me feel that I had overcome something as opposed to failing something.  We learned the walk - the model walk.  How cool was that at my age to "strut" the catwalk if only in a classroom!  I cannot even begin to remember all of the things that we learned, from table etiquette to professionalism, as well as acting, dressing, makeup tips and skin care, working on camera, etc, etc, etc.   Everything we learned was something that could well be used in any profession or career, not just modeling and acting.  There were lessons in confidence, appearance, taking charge, elegance, bringing out the best in you.  And, no, those were not the names of the classes.  Those are the things that stuck to you because of the classes, the environment, and the instructors.  The rules were strict and gave us a feeling for working within a professional modeling or acting environment.  I practically floated into the agency at class time and danced out.  I made friends there whom I still keep in touch with today.  We were also towards the end of our classes given the opportunity to audition for the International Modeling and Talent Association competition taking place in January in Los Angeles.  I auditioned and made a spot on the team.  I was beyond happy and I cried when I was given the news on the phone by the Agency Director. And then there was the piece de resistance.  Our graduation was a show for family and friends at the Progress Energy Theater in downtown Raleigh, NC.   It was an onstage presentation of our modeling skills with fairly intricate choreography to the music "I got a feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas which I had never heard before, but now cannot hear without remembering the feel of being on that stage.  I came bouncing off at the end of our final rehearsal for it, yelling "We nailed it" and almost ran over a young man standing there.  At the end of our show when we were leaving the theater I was met at the stage exit door by an older woman whom I had never met before.  She reached out to me and told me that she just wanted to tell me that I had inspired her with my "transition" at my age, and that she told me that I had given her the urge to find a transition also.  She was, I believe, the first of many such occurrences I've had since then.  Oh, and the young man I almost ran over off stage in my exuberance.  I was called into the agency office the next day and there he stood.  He was a young director and interviewed me on the spot for his upcoming film.  Anything that I had done up to this point in my new career can be done by anyone.  No, it is not free, but if I never went any further than that graduation stage my life would have been changed.  It was one of several such life altering experiences to come over the next few years.

Beginning the Reinvention Journey

So where to start?  I still had a full time job that I certainly wasn't ready to leave.  I was 67, not an 18-25 year old who would have gladly slept on someone's couch and eaten Ramen noodles 3 times a day in order to survive.  Actually I think that I was doing something similar to that through my early 40's off and on.  But, back to this story.  I lived in Raleigh, NC and had absolutely no idea where to start, nor anyone in my friendship circle who had a clue.  When you think acting you immediately think Los Angeles, and I was definitely not ready to move to California (nice state, but no).  I was also quite surprised at the weird looks and opinions when I even mentioned wanting to do this.  So I did what almost anyone would do.  I just stopped telling them and began looking around for a place to start locally.  I found, actually, that I had been passing by a starting point for many years.  I just hadn't been really looking.  Buried among 4 or 5 other business names on a sign was Barbizon.  My daughter is a graduate of Barbizon (Albany, NY), so I was very familiar with the name.  I had had a good experience there as the parent of a student, so I called.  One of my first statements was to tell the receptionist my age and the fact that I did have a full time job, but that I wanted to check out acting, and that perhaps learning modeling would be a good start.  I really thought that what I would get was a statement that they handled young men and women only.  But I also thought that perhaps they might have a reference to another place for me to start.  What I got was the information that they had classes for all ages and that they did not focus just on modeling, but also included acting in their curriculum.  I also got an appointment for an interview.  WOOT!!!

When I arrived the evening of my interview, the office was in a bit of a turmoil since the owner (with whom I was to have the interview) had just had emergency open heart surgery so I interviewed with a very young woman.  So as not to disappoint readers looking for interview tips here I'll simply say that I had dressed professionally, easy to do since I was in a white collar job, traveled and met clients a lot and therefore had the wardrobe. I also had talked both on the phone and in person with clients as part of my day job, so I was very familiar with the ins and outs of a professional discussion.  Think of it as a discussion, people.  That's all an interview is.   They learn about you.  You learn about them.  In this discussion I learned that a class for older women was starting in July once a week in the evenings and that it included an introduction to acting and modeling both.  Awesome, perfect fit for me, but.....  Hmmmm!   I was leaving for Scotland in July and would miss the first class.  Not a problem.  I would just need to make it up with a class following mine before I would actually be given my certificate of completion.  Alrighty then!  Signed, sealed, delivered, EXCITED!!!!!   I was 67, leaving for 10 days on my own in Scotland and when I came back  I would be getting my feet wet in a possible new career.  Yeah, excited is probably an understatement for how I felt.  ;)

I was thinking that perhaps I should change the name of this blog, but I think that it is totally appropriate since I get that Why question quite a lot?  Why did I do or not do or would or would not do believe or not believe.  Why?  Because I am a very unique person.  There are so many facets to me that I have not met them all, nor probably shown them all to anyone. Why, because it was there.  Why, because I really wanted to.  Why, because it moved me.  Why, just because.

I was an extra this past week on a movie set where there were many of us running around presumably helter skelter and being chased by wicked things.  We, of course, had a designated camera range, don't run over the main actors hunched down in the middle of us, and do try not to take the camera man out.  As usual in shooting any scene there are a few to several takes and then more takes of the same scene from a different angle.  In this scene there were props set out for relieving tired and injured people, including a few stacks of bottled water.

Before I continue let me first tell you all that I am not a graceful gazelle leaping about, looking lovely, jumping everything in site.  I bump into things, a lot.  I am particularly fond of fire extinguishers on the sides of buildings set at about 5 feet or so height.


So the scene was set and we were at approximately take 105 (well it seemed like that many) running around being terrified by these wicked things, avoiding main actors and the camera man when I suddenly tripped over one of the stacks of bottled water and fell to my knees.  Did I mention that this scene was being done on a tar covered setting?  Someone grabbed my arm, helped me up, and I continued running for about two steps when the director yelled 'cut'.  I slipped back to my starting mark, raised my pants' leg to check out my now stinging a bit right knee, and saw that I had scraped it. It reminded me of the scrapes I had gotten as a kid.  Everyone was, of course, concerned, but I pooh poohed it as nothing.  However, they would not be satisfied until the medic saw it, cleaned it, and covered it with a spray adhesive (which was OK after the initial embarrassment of it all since he was rather nice to look at as I sat there on the army cot in the MASH-like tent).  After assuring the Production Assistant, who joked about my skill as a stunt actor, that I was fine and the scene was reset we continued on with a few more takes - more running, dodging people, crashing into the actress in the scene ;\.  Then it was over and we all headed for home.  I did find out that the whole incident had been captured on camera.  I would love to have that piece of film.

Now you all know adrenaline eventually peters out and reality kicks in.  That happened approximately 20 minutes later and I realized that I had fallen on my knee.  Not a real fun night from that moment on.

Most of the people were quite concerned about the fall, so I continued into the next day with reassurances that I wasn't limping, the swelling was going down, etc. etc.  Then I got my first Why. "Why were you running?"  Ummm, because that is what the director wanted.  "But you can't be running."  Now it was my turn to ask Why?  The answer was one that I wish people would bite their tongue (really hard) on.  "Because You're Too Old" to be running.  You know perhaps I do need to rename this blog.  Can you rename blogs?  It should be Because I'm Not too Old.  I cannot live on the premise that you're too old to do things.

Beginning the Reinvention

At the age of 65 or so, with an assumption that I would retire at 70, I started thinking about the facts of retirement as I believed them to be.  I entered the work force at approximately the age of 11 assisting my cousin with his paper route.  Girls weren't allowed to have routes.  Don't ask, that's an entirely different blog subject.  lol.  From that point I was working at something, babysitting, lunch clerk, bar maid, go go dancer, nurse, computer programmer, mother.  I knew that retirement was a word and condition made up by the rest of world, not by me.  I also knew way before retiring that I would not actually retire. I would just do something else besides go to a job every day.  And that something else would not be sitting in a corner watching the world go by.

I've always lived with the philosophy of not regretting something that I had done, but regretting something that I had not done.  I have more issues with the latter than the former.  I was in the final years of my second adult career outside of single parenting (yes, parenting is a definite career, in truth the most difficult of my careers) at retirement time.  So I asked myself what one thing, if I were sitting on a porch reminiscing with friends and family at the age of 80 or so, would I have to say I regretted not doing in my life.  Being ready to write a list that I'd have to narrow down I was very surprised that the one answer came quite quickly.  It was to never continue what I had started in high school and pursued occasionally in college and then dropped totally as work, becoming a mother, scrabbling to exist took precedence - acting.  I never totally abandoned  it and my mind always created new fantasies and vivid dreams for all of my life.  My stage became a place in my mind that I could go to and play on whenever I was able.  Once I realized that seeing what I could do in acting was the ONLY thing I would regret not doing I started on my road to today.  I knew that I needed to get into the world itself , but I still had a full time job, so preparation had to revolve around that.  I found the perfect answer at the local Barbizon School of Modeling and Acting.  I enrolled in their next adult session which met once a week in the evening.  I was actually following in the footsteps of my daughter who had graduated from a Barbizon school 25 years prior to my enrollment.